Thankful for Tough Love

I was on a publisher's blog that I like to follow when I found this interesting post. The basic idea (which she puts more eloquently), is that in giving thanks we should be aware of the challenges that make us grow in addition to the blessings we enjoy. I liked it. And so I've decided to give it a go... I'm thankful for hardship, anxiety and stress that make me reach to be a stronger person. I am grateful for self doubt that helps me strive to grow into something more than I am now. I am thankful for fear that keeps me aware and on my toes and also teaches me to trust in my Heavenly Father. I am grateful for those who have "hated" me because it forced me to walk on my own (look ma, no training wheels!). They also pushed me to redefine my perceptions of friendship and family, leading me to discover the place where I belong. I am thankful that so many things fell apart for a while there because it forced Joe and I to evaluate our situation and make some difficult and scary choices. We would never have ended up happy in Maryland with out a long string of unfortunate events. I am grateful for traumatic events that offer greater insight and discovery into the human experience. We would never change if we were never challenged. I am thankful for nightmares that lead to deep discussions between Joe and I, and also become the catalyst into some of my most entertaining writing. I am grateful for my little Josser who is teaching me patience, self sacrafice, and service. It's not easy being the mom to someone who doesn't speak your language, except for the one whine that he uses, sometimes for hours! I am grateful that I haven't been able to have children because the experience has made me hypersensitive to others feelings and situations. I am thankful for all the struggles, trials, hardships, and misery that I have experienced for making this life of mine unique and for giving me the opportunity to choose to be more than I was yesterday. I haven't always made the right choices. I haven't always enjoyed misfortune (and not that I'm starting now). But I am grateful that my Heavenly Father allows me to fall in order to learn.

In addition to the difficult times, I am thankful for the blessings in my life. My husband (who is my number one fan) for being able to uplift and console all of my different personalities. The man is a SAINT! For my family who I miss deeply. I took you for granted when I was close and miss you deeply now that I'm gone. I appreciate being able to cry with you, yell with you, and have fun with you. And it doesn't matter who I am, you will always love me. I've missed you! I am grateful for my friends who influence me everyday. I am amazed when I reflect upon my varying friendships. You are awesome!!! And I am blessed by your examples (even when you don't think I'm watching... I am a crazy stalker like that). Even those who I haven't seen for years, please know that your imprints are still felt on my heart. All of you have shaped me into who I am and will continue to influence me throughout my life. I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who sticks around even when I don't. I am humbled by His willingness to bless, even when I don't feel worthy. I am SO very grateful for our new ward members. They have accepted us and enfolded us in the arms of their love. It has been a true blessing to enter a foreign state and almost immediately find the comfort of new friends. They have made this transition easier to bear.

Know that I love, my dear friends and family. I am sad I am not closer during this holiday season. Thanksgiving has always been a family holiday to me. This will be the first time in over a decade that I will not be around for the Porter Thanksgiving. So this year, I'll be grateful that I am with my husband and for the opportunity to create a new family tradition.

Love you! And have a very HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

P.S. I was lazy this morning and didn't spell check, so don't mind the errors. Anyone know where spell check is in the new posting editor? I can't seem to find it.