The four walls seemed to close around us as we entered the small clinical room. Harsh florescent light, magnified as it bounced back and forth between sterile white walls and a solitary stainless steel table, only added to our discomfort. It was the same room we always ended up in. I knew it, but how he knew it was beyond me. But he did know. Even as we crossed the threshold my baby was shaking and whimpering. The sound broke my heart a thousand times over in the thirty seconds before the doctor and nurse had even entered. He cringed as the nurse reached for him, forcing him towards the table. He whined and struggled as she and the doctor forced foreign objects in his ears, mouth, and... well, other places I won't mention. When he could turn far enough, his eyes seemed to cry, "Mom, why are you letting them hurt me? Why won't you save me?" I knew we were there to help him. I knew that only the doctor could tell us what was happening to our little one. But still, I felt helpless as my baby continued to cry and shake and cringe. And in that moment, I understood.
Okay, so, like always, totally dramatic (just working on some writing). I could have kept going, but really, it was a vet visit and not the end of the world. lol. Today we took Josser to the vet because of some terrible rashes that have turned into open sores on his legs. They were bleeding by the time I got home from work today. SO scary! We think it is just an allergy to the grass, but only time will tell. And yes, my dog totally freaks at the vet. We always seem to end up in the same room, too. As soon as we walk through the door Josser is trying to hide behind us or escape. Today was just too heartbreaking. They actually put a little choke collar thing around his neck and tied him to the table. The poor kid was shaking terribly. After the exam was over, he came right back and hid behind us again. I think I figured out that Josser gets his anxiety from me. He must feel it. I was a mess during the exam. I just wanted to take him off that table and out the door. I felt horrible that I couldn't do anything for him. But, what can you do? We had to find out what was going on with the sores on his legs. And that's when it hit me. This must be how you moms feel when your kids are getting shots. My sisters have told me how hard it is to watch. I never really got it. I'll admit I found it a little silly. Come on. They're just some shots, right? But (as always) I ate crow for dinner tonight. That seems to be on the menu a lot recently. I suppose I'll have to keep eating it until I learn my lesson. Until then, I think it goes well with broccoli.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Confessions of a Spa-Aholic
My name is Debbie and I am an aspiring Spa-Aholic. Only aspiring, you ask? Alas, yes. To reach true Spa-Aholicness I would need to be attending a real spa at least once a month for body butter drench massages, harvest facials, and oh-so-essential pedicures. Instead, I visit the spa only on special occasions... like every birthday, anniversary, holiday or other major event in my life (including my husband's birthday. Now that is a win-win present!). My attachment to being pampered has made life easier on my husband who never has to wonder what to get me for that oh-so-special occasion. But sadly, like any addiction, feeding the need for ultimate rest and relaxation has only left me wanting more.
Some in my family think I'm just a little crazy (okay, so a lot crazy). I mean, really, a massage for every birthday? Every anniversary? Every holiday (that comes with a gift.. and maybe even some that don't)? And to you who are thinking the same thing right at this very moment, I say YES! And I am surprised that you wouldn't want the same.
You see, I know you. Whether a CEO of some fancy corporation or an overworked, never-paid, stay-at-home-parent, you are running in the hamster wheel we call life. You are pushing and learning and growing. You are facing new challenges each day in your own particular environment. Some days you feel like you are on top of the world and other days you feel like you can't take one more step. We have all been there. We have all felt the joy of success and the pain of failure. You, me, the cleaning lady, that Microsoft guy (my husband's gonna kill me that I don't remember his name!). We have all felt the challenges of living and we have endured. But why just endure? Why not live!
I am extending to you an invitation to leave your hamster wheel for a moment (maybe, heaven forbid, even an hour!). Take time for yourself. Treat yourself to a few guilty pleasures. Give your body and your mind the opportunity to be revitalized! To be renewed! Aren't you worth it? Let me answer that for you... you are worth it!
Not sure where to start? Allow me to be your guide. You see, Sego Lily Day Spa is running a little competition for a Sego Lily Blogger. I would love to be that person for you. And not just because I'm an addict (even though that is what an addict would say), but because I can share with you my experience in such a way that you won't be left wondering where to go or what treatments to receive. I want to take this journey with you. I want to empower you to help yourself. To take that step. To go to the spa. It isn't just for pretty prairie princesses or 5th Ave goddesses anymore. In fact, it isn't just for women. The spa is for everyone. The spa is for you. Help me, help you. Allow me to be your Sego Lily Blogger.
P.S. Check out the contest details at http://segolilyspa.com/blog/contest-entry/. Leave a comment there if you think I can benefit Sego Lily Day Spa as their blogger.
P.P.S. (Or is it P.S.S.) Bill Gates. My husband just informed me of the computer guy's name. :)
Some in my family think I'm just a little crazy (okay, so a lot crazy). I mean, really, a massage for every birthday? Every anniversary? Every holiday (that comes with a gift.. and maybe even some that don't)? And to you who are thinking the same thing right at this very moment, I say YES! And I am surprised that you wouldn't want the same.
You see, I know you. Whether a CEO of some fancy corporation or an overworked, never-paid, stay-at-home-parent, you are running in the hamster wheel we call life. You are pushing and learning and growing. You are facing new challenges each day in your own particular environment. Some days you feel like you are on top of the world and other days you feel like you can't take one more step. We have all been there. We have all felt the joy of success and the pain of failure. You, me, the cleaning lady, that Microsoft guy (my husband's gonna kill me that I don't remember his name!). We have all felt the challenges of living and we have endured. But why just endure? Why not live!
I am extending to you an invitation to leave your hamster wheel for a moment (maybe, heaven forbid, even an hour!). Take time for yourself. Treat yourself to a few guilty pleasures. Give your body and your mind the opportunity to be revitalized! To be renewed! Aren't you worth it? Let me answer that for you... you are worth it!
Not sure where to start? Allow me to be your guide. You see, Sego Lily Day Spa is running a little competition for a Sego Lily Blogger. I would love to be that person for you. And not just because I'm an addict (even though that is what an addict would say), but because I can share with you my experience in such a way that you won't be left wondering where to go or what treatments to receive. I want to take this journey with you. I want to empower you to help yourself. To take that step. To go to the spa. It isn't just for pretty prairie princesses or 5th Ave goddesses anymore. In fact, it isn't just for women. The spa is for everyone. The spa is for you. Help me, help you. Allow me to be your Sego Lily Blogger.
P.S. Check out the contest details at http://segolilyspa.com/blog/contest-entry/. Leave a comment there if you think I can benefit Sego Lily Day Spa as their blogger.
P.P.S. (Or is it P.S.S.) Bill Gates. My husband just informed me of the computer guy's name. :)
Friday, April 24, 2009
More Writings from Deb
I suppose I create so many different blogs because, in some small way, I am trying to make sense of the fragments and pieces that make up the confusion of my mind. Maybe someday I'll only need one blog, but now is not that day. I have Brain Vomit for my darker writing. For the place where I can scream and rant and throw myself against the wall and still feel safe. Like my own personal padded room. I have Ellie where, someday, I hope to finish this story that is floating around in my head. She is fun and her story is a nice release from the monotony of the every day. (For those following it, I really do promise to add a new chapter soon!). I have several hidden blogs... Joe calls them my secret blogs... where I can journal about specific emotions related to my oh-so-wonderful robbery experiences. And now I have added I Want To Come Back. This is a little like Brain Vomit... a place for me to dump my feelings or question the universe... except it will be more positive. If you want to take a peak, it is my personal journal and probably-flawed attempt at finding the Spirit once more in my life. I hope to add to it everyday as I search and pray for desperately needed answers to never-ending questions. As with all my writing, there is a warning attached. I will not write what is expected of me and I may even write things with which you disagree. So read at your own risk. And maybe, with this one, read it like you would a journal that you found under your sister's pillow... understanding that words on each page are personal and heart felt.
Anyway. There it is. So dramatic, I know. But with the genetics in my family, would you expect anything less? Love you tons, my sweet friends!
Anyway. There it is. So dramatic, I know. But with the genetics in my family, would you expect anything less? Love you tons, my sweet friends!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Oh my holy freakamahogana!!! I did it!!!
I am so freakin' excited! Awhile back Joe mentioned to me a writing contest sponsored by Blizzard. [SIDE NOTE: For those of you who don't know, Blizzard produces World of Warcraft, which is an online game that many of the guys (and some wives) play.] At the time I thought, "cool. That might be fun." But it never really went anywhere. I thought about writing a story but there always seemed to be other things that needed my attention. Then Friday night I thought about it again. I remembered it ending around April 10th.
Too late, I thought. It's probably already over and I missed it. But I might as well check as not, so I made a quick trip to Blizzard's website. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer. Wait, wait. Sorry, wrong story!
No, what I did find (instead of a jolly old man) were the contest rules stating that I had until 11:59pm PST (12:59 am our time) on April 12th to submit my entry. I couldn't believe it! I still had a chance! It was too late Friday to start so I waited for Saturday. Saturday turned out to be a not-so-great-day for me and I ended sleeping most of it away. So Sunday, after a great Easter meeting, I sat down and words poured out of my brain and onto the paper. It was so much fun! My fingers zipped along the keyboard without stopping. I wrote for over three hours straight before I needed a quick nap. At first I was worried that I wouldn't make the 3,000 word minimum, but at break time, I was only half way through my story and had already reached 2,300 words. Anyway, to make a long story short (too late!... little Clue reference there...), after spending my afternoon at a family Easter thing and returning home at 10pm, I jumped back on my computer and finished the piece by 12:45am and submitted it to Blizzard!!! I actually finished what I started and sent if off! Even if nothing happens and I never hear from Blizz again, I am just so ecstatic that I followed through with something I wanted so much to do. I didn't even have time to doubt myself!
So, here's to hopin' for more opportunities that will stretch my writing and offer the same sense of fulfillment I had last night as I sent my story off into oblivion!
Too late, I thought. It's probably already over and I missed it. But I might as well check as not, so I made a quick trip to Blizzard's website. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer. Wait, wait. Sorry, wrong story!
No, what I did find (instead of a jolly old man) were the contest rules stating that I had until 11:59pm PST (12:59 am our time) on April 12th to submit my entry. I couldn't believe it! I still had a chance! It was too late Friday to start so I waited for Saturday. Saturday turned out to be a not-so-great-day for me and I ended sleeping most of it away. So Sunday, after a great Easter meeting, I sat down and words poured out of my brain and onto the paper. It was so much fun! My fingers zipped along the keyboard without stopping. I wrote for over three hours straight before I needed a quick nap. At first I was worried that I wouldn't make the 3,000 word minimum, but at break time, I was only half way through my story and had already reached 2,300 words. Anyway, to make a long story short (too late!... little Clue reference there...), after spending my afternoon at a family Easter thing and returning home at 10pm, I jumped back on my computer and finished the piece by 12:45am and submitted it to Blizzard!!! I actually finished what I started and sent if off! Even if nothing happens and I never hear from Blizz again, I am just so ecstatic that I followed through with something I wanted so much to do. I didn't even have time to doubt myself!
So, here's to hopin' for more opportunities that will stretch my writing and offer the same sense of fulfillment I had last night as I sent my story off into oblivion!
Wahoo! I'm Orange!
Not the actual color orange. At least not my complexion, anyway. No the orange I'm referring to is a belt color. Yeppers! I passed my last karate test! Joe passed his back on April 3rd. While I was dancing away the night with my gals and a pole, Joe was working hard demonstrating his crazy ninja skills. So, technically, he has been an orange belt for one week longer than I. But I'm okay with that... I can still kick his butt! lol
I was nervous, to say the least, considering the boot camp testing we experienced at our first rank advancement. I was even more nervous because this would be a private test with just two of us. No one else for Sensei to watch and critic. But turns out it was an awesome experience! I worked hard, no lie. He had me sweating buckets within a few minutes. If not for all the fatty food I'm eating right now, I probably would have lost 10lbs. But it was well worth it. I really like how personable the exam was. We demonstrated not only our physical abilities, but our mental acuity as well. I loved discussing the theory behind action. Things like "Where is our target? Why are we striking their? What should be the result?" I'm weird like that, always wanting to know the why not just the how. At the end of the test he asked us, individually, if we thought we deserved to advance. My first instinct was to say no. (I'm lacking in the self confidence department. If any one hears of a sale, please let me know because I'd like to pick up some extra). But then I thought about the effort I gave while at the studio. How I almost never miss a lesson. And I considered the hours at home I had spent practicing and drilling what he taught us. Finally I thought about how much it meant to me. How much I wanted to excel in this aspect of my life. When it came my turn to respond, I shared these thoughts with him. It was great to hear him validate what I had been thinking. You don't get that from a group test. As crazy intense as that night was, I'm glad I had the opportunity.
I was nervous, to say the least, considering the boot camp testing we experienced at our first rank advancement. I was even more nervous because this would be a private test with just two of us. No one else for Sensei to watch and critic. But turns out it was an awesome experience! I worked hard, no lie. He had me sweating buckets within a few minutes. If not for all the fatty food I'm eating right now, I probably would have lost 10lbs. But it was well worth it. I really like how personable the exam was. We demonstrated not only our physical abilities, but our mental acuity as well. I loved discussing the theory behind action. Things like "Where is our target? Why are we striking their? What should be the result?" I'm weird like that, always wanting to know the why not just the how. At the end of the test he asked us, individually, if we thought we deserved to advance. My first instinct was to say no. (I'm lacking in the self confidence department. If any one hears of a sale, please let me know because I'd like to pick up some extra). But then I thought about the effort I gave while at the studio. How I almost never miss a lesson. And I considered the hours at home I had spent practicing and drilling what he taught us. Finally I thought about how much it meant to me. How much I wanted to excel in this aspect of my life. When it came my turn to respond, I shared these thoughts with him. It was great to hear him validate what I had been thinking. You don't get that from a group test. As crazy intense as that night was, I'm glad I had the opportunity.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Spin, Baby, Spin
So last Friday I talked a few of my more daring gal pals into going Pole Dancing with me! Can you believe it? Yeppers, POLE DANCING! And let me tell you we had a total blast! It was freaking awesome! We actually went up to Adult Dance & Fitness in Ogden where they teach fitness pole dancing. And if you don't believe that pole dancing can be done for fitness, you need to see our instructors biceps (I'll try to get pictures). It was a private party just for our group so we were able to kick back, relax, and have a really fun girly-girl time. We learned three different spins (you should have seen how uncoordinated I was!) and then a mini-routine. I was surprised by the unexpected pole talents of Brenda (I think you have been holding out on us, girl!). She took to the pole like a fish to water with her martini spins. But we all soon caught up and were spinning like pros (okay, maybe not pros, but we were rocking the room). A thanks goes to our adorable instructor, Becca. She is AMAZING! Seriously, crazy pole skills. I just can't believe you can DO that on a pole... and I saw her with my own eyes! And she is SO SWEET! I loved her. (And her adorable daughter made me card for my birthday. Love it! It's still on my fridge.)
I can't wait to go again and am hoping to sign up for weekly lessons soon. I love that Adult Dance & Fitness gives women the opportunity to feel beautiful and sexy in the comfort of a very secure and safe environment. I didn't have to feel like others were watching or judging, I could just relax and enjoy the moment.
And I am SO glad I got to share that moment with my "sistas." Thanks for helping me celebrate turning 29 in such an unorthodox way. I guess I should be thinking about how to top that at 30. LOL! If anyone is interested, I'd love to host another private party. Just let me know and we'll spin, baby, spin.
I can't wait to go again and am hoping to sign up for weekly lessons soon. I love that Adult Dance & Fitness gives women the opportunity to feel beautiful and sexy in the comfort of a very secure and safe environment. I didn't have to feel like others were watching or judging, I could just relax and enjoy the moment.
And I am SO glad I got to share that moment with my "sistas." Thanks for helping me celebrate turning 29 in such an unorthodox way. I guess I should be thinking about how to top that at 30. LOL! If anyone is interested, I'd love to host another private party. Just let me know and we'll spin, baby, spin.
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