Dear Moms, I Kinda Get It Now

The four walls seemed to close around us as we entered the small clinical room. Harsh florescent light, magnified as it bounced back and forth between sterile white walls and a solitary stainless steel table, only added to our discomfort. It was the same room we always ended up in. I knew it, but how he knew it was beyond me. But he did know. Even as we crossed the threshold my baby was shaking and whimpering. The sound broke my heart a thousand times over in the thirty seconds before the doctor and nurse had even entered. He cringed as the nurse reached for him, forcing him towards the table. He whined and struggled as she and the doctor forced foreign objects in his ears, mouth, and... well, other places I won't mention. When he could turn far enough, his eyes seemed to cry, "Mom, why are you letting them hurt me? Why won't you save me?" I knew we were there to help him. I knew that only the doctor could tell us what was happening to our little one. But still, I felt helpless as my baby continued to cry and shake and cringe. And in that moment, I understood.

Okay, so, like always, totally dramatic (just working on some writing). I could have kept going, but really, it was a vet visit and not the end of the world. lol. Today we took Josser to the vet because of some terrible rashes that have turned into open sores on his legs. They were bleeding by the time I got home from work today. SO scary! We think it is just an allergy to the grass, but only time will tell. And yes, my dog totally freaks at the vet. We always seem to end up in the same room, too. As soon as we walk through the door Josser is trying to hide behind us or escape. Today was just too heartbreaking. They actually put a little choke collar thing around his neck and tied him to the table. The poor kid was shaking terribly. After the exam was over, he came right back and hid behind us again. I think I figured out that Josser gets his anxiety from me. He must feel it. I was a mess during the exam. I just wanted to take him off that table and out the door. I felt horrible that I couldn't do anything for him. But, what can you do? We had to find out what was going on with the sores on his legs. And that's when it hit me. This must be how you moms feel when your kids are getting shots. My sisters have told me how hard it is to watch. I never really got it. I'll admit I found it a little silly. Come on. They're just some shots, right? But (as always) I ate crow for dinner tonight. That seems to be on the menu a lot recently. I suppose I'll have to keep eating it until I learn my lesson. Until then, I think it goes well with broccoli.