1 Corinthians 11:11

In follow up to my karate post (below) I wanted to share an unexpected growth experience that came during our first rank test (which I'll sum up in one word: INSANE). Seriously... I'm glad I have some time before I have to do that again. Anyway, we were super excited to be advancing to yellow belt so quickly. We arrived, eager to please, but quickly realized that boot camp would be preferable to a rank test. Joe hadn't eaten before hand and was soon pale and on the ground, trying to not pass out. The senseis seemed so tough (but I found out later are total teddy bears) and the rule was clear NO TALKING. So there was Joe, looking like death with senseis pushing him to do more and there I was feeling helpless, unable to raise my voice in his defense. I watched in agony as he pushed harder and harder. And I waited for him to say "enough." I new that if he left, I would leave with him. I clearly remember the thought passing through my mind that night, "I will not go where he cannot follow." It was what I would say to the senseis if Joe had to stop or if they told him he was done. And I knew that I meant it. I will NOT go where he cannot follow. But I never had to say the words. Joe made it to the end and we received our rank advancement. It is the second time in our marriage I have seen Joe tear up. Later he told me he wanted to quit, but he kept telling himself he could do a little more. I was SO PROUD of him. So proud. (Needless to say, we will make sure he eats next time.)

Anyway, that night I experienced the pain of not being able to help your partner when they are seemingly beyond your reach. I felt, tangibly, my connection to him, my unwillingness to progress without him. And I had new light shed on the scripture "neither is the man without the woman or the woman without the man." I always thought the scripture was only a comment on needing to be married to get into heaven (which, I'll admit, has driven me crazy over the years). That evening, however, the scripture took on new meaning for me. Whether right or wrong, that scripture now speaks to me on the connection partners have with each other when they live and love as the Lord has asked. I will not go where he cannot follow... neither is the woman without the man. When we love and serve and sacrifice for our spouse, we will not want to be in heaven without them and they will not want to be there without us.

I knew I loved Joe, but I think our rank test showed me just how deep my love truly runs. Nevertheless neither is the [Joe] without the [Debbie], neither the [Debbie] without the [Joe], in the Lord.