Monday, March 30, 2009
A Little Favor
Tomorrow is the beginning and maybe even the end. I don't know which. Either way, I am afraid. I can't give details, I can only ask for help. Please pray for me tomorrow as I take the stand. Loves and hugs... Deb
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Battle for Victory
We gazed silently across the battlefield, our small band of six. We began as eight but lost two to forces beyond our control. They fought bravely in past battles and we would honor their memory tonight. It was for them and for our clan--Las Chicas--that we would fight. For their memories that we must win. It would be our last struggle, of this we were certain. Our last opportunity for victory. Our last chance for glory!
We stepped into formation, following the lead of our fearless leader, Heidi. What could six women--intimate with defeat and frustration--hope to accomplish against a clan of proven warrior women? Women who called themselves "The Believers." How could we possibly defeat them? Though these questions taunted us, they did not matter. On faith we followed Heidi's lead. We trusted her as we always had and took our places without question. We looked at each other with encouragement... Amber, Debbie, Heidi, Jamie, Marla and Terilynn. We thought of Jodi and Kim. One breath. And then, we waited for our enemy to move.
The attack came quickly and almost without warning! Panic seized our very hearts, but we did not falter under the oppressing assault reigning down from the skies. We took courage from each other. As one woman defended, another countered and moved to protect openings or weaknesses. We continued to press forward in battle, matching strike with strike... attack with attack. No more just defending, we were now the aggressors! Our enemies fell back under our onslaught. Jamie's strikes and intimidation on the front lines, Amber's impossible saves, Terilynn's amazing footwork and counter strikes , Marla's incredible bombs of mass destruction, and Heidi keeping us all together, focused, pushing forward. Our rival clan was helpless against our skill and our bond. We worked as one, giving us the ability of thousands. The scene of carnage was exhilarating as they fell beneath our hands.
It was not long before they retreated to nurse their wounds and rethink their own strategy. It would have been easy to believe ourselves victorious, but we knew differently. Our own experience with defeat taught us to battle as if the initial victory was never won. Pride could destroy us faster than any opponent ever could. And so we were cautious as the next wave of melee began. They struck fiercely, showing no mercy. Pushing, striking, never stopping. Fear again tugged at our hearts. They were relentless and driven. Would this be our end? No! We would not fail! We could not fail! Not when we had come this far.
And so our band of six refused to give in or to give up. Our unity was our strength. We encouraged each other in word and action. We bandaged each others' wounds even as we continued to push back against our foe. And the proven warriors, the mighty women, saw their own defeat in our eyes. In short, they were afraid. And in fearing they lost the battle. We were victorious!
As the last woman fell, triumph was ours. It was beautiful. It was glorious. And for one moment I stood back to watch the hugs and the shouts of joy. I was humbled tonight. Humbled to be a part of such a group of women. Humbled to be accepted by them to be allowed to fight by their sides. I saw radiant beauty as I turned from woman to woman. It wasn't the glow of winning a battle, it was the blaze of womanhood. A band of women who fought together, felt sorrow together, shared laughter together... and, now, won together. And they were magnificent!
We stepped into formation, following the lead of our fearless leader, Heidi. What could six women--intimate with defeat and frustration--hope to accomplish against a clan of proven warrior women? Women who called themselves "The Believers." How could we possibly defeat them? Though these questions taunted us, they did not matter. On faith we followed Heidi's lead. We trusted her as we always had and took our places without question. We looked at each other with encouragement... Amber, Debbie, Heidi, Jamie, Marla and Terilynn. We thought of Jodi and Kim. One breath. And then, we waited for our enemy to move.
The attack came quickly and almost without warning! Panic seized our very hearts, but we did not falter under the oppressing assault reigning down from the skies. We took courage from each other. As one woman defended, another countered and moved to protect openings or weaknesses. We continued to press forward in battle, matching strike with strike... attack with attack. No more just defending, we were now the aggressors! Our enemies fell back under our onslaught. Jamie's strikes and intimidation on the front lines, Amber's impossible saves, Terilynn's amazing footwork and counter strikes , Marla's incredible bombs of mass destruction, and Heidi keeping us all together, focused, pushing forward. Our rival clan was helpless against our skill and our bond. We worked as one, giving us the ability of thousands. The scene of carnage was exhilarating as they fell beneath our hands.
It was not long before they retreated to nurse their wounds and rethink their own strategy. It would have been easy to believe ourselves victorious, but we knew differently. Our own experience with defeat taught us to battle as if the initial victory was never won. Pride could destroy us faster than any opponent ever could. And so we were cautious as the next wave of melee began. They struck fiercely, showing no mercy. Pushing, striking, never stopping. Fear again tugged at our hearts. They were relentless and driven. Would this be our end? No! We would not fail! We could not fail! Not when we had come this far.
And so our band of six refused to give in or to give up. Our unity was our strength. We encouraged each other in word and action. We bandaged each others' wounds even as we continued to push back against our foe. And the proven warriors, the mighty women, saw their own defeat in our eyes. In short, they were afraid. And in fearing they lost the battle. We were victorious!
As the last woman fell, triumph was ours. It was beautiful. It was glorious. And for one moment I stood back to watch the hugs and the shouts of joy. I was humbled tonight. Humbled to be a part of such a group of women. Humbled to be accepted by them to be allowed to fight by their sides. I saw radiant beauty as I turned from woman to woman. It wasn't the glow of winning a battle, it was the blaze of womanhood. A band of women who fought together, felt sorrow together, shared laughter together... and, now, won together. And they were magnificent!
( To you, Las Chicas... le amo muchísimo! )
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Fixed Ellie Link!!! Sorry!!!
I ended up changing the actual blog address. I fixed the link from my page. If you have it on your site, you'll need to update the link... http://elliechapterbook.blogspot.com/. Let me know if you are still having problems. Thanks!
Ellie Update
For all those who are interested, Ellie Chapter 2 is now online. As always, send me your feedback! Especially if there are parts that are confusing our could be improved. Thanks!
And thank you for your patience. I've been sick the last few weeks (no lie, stupid flu stuff) and so haven't had a chance to work on the book. So, again, thanks for hanging in there for chapter 2!
Loves and hugs :)
And thank you for your patience. I've been sick the last few weeks (no lie, stupid flu stuff) and so haven't had a chance to work on the book. So, again, thanks for hanging in there for chapter 2!
Loves and hugs :)
Sunday, March 1, 2009
1 Corinthians 11:11
In follow up to my karate post (below) I wanted to share an unexpected growth experience that came during our first rank test (which I'll sum up in one word: INSANE). Seriously... I'm glad I have some time before I have to do that again. Anyway, we were super excited to be advancing to yellow belt so quickly. We arrived, eager to please, but quickly realized that boot camp would be preferable to a rank test. Joe hadn't eaten before hand and was soon pale and on the ground, trying to not pass out. The senseis seemed so tough (but I found out later are total teddy bears) and the rule was clear NO TALKING. So there was Joe, looking like death with senseis pushing him to do more and there I was feeling helpless, unable to raise my voice in his defense. I watched in agony as he pushed harder and harder. And I waited for him to say "enough." I new that if he left, I would leave with him. I clearly remember the thought passing through my mind that night, "I will not go where he cannot follow." It was what I would say to the senseis if Joe had to stop or if they told him he was done. And I knew that I meant it. I will NOT go where he cannot follow. But I never had to say the words. Joe made it to the end and we received our rank advancement. It is the second time in our marriage I have seen Joe tear up. Later he told me he wanted to quit, but he kept telling himself he could do a little more. I was SO PROUD of him. So proud. (Needless to say, we will make sure he eats next time.)
Anyway, that night I experienced the pain of not being able to help your partner when they are seemingly beyond your reach. I felt, tangibly, my connection to him, my unwillingness to progress without him. And I had new light shed on the scripture "neither is the man without the woman or the woman without the man." I always thought the scripture was only a comment on needing to be married to get into heaven (which, I'll admit, has driven me crazy over the years). That evening, however, the scripture took on new meaning for me. Whether right or wrong, that scripture now speaks to me on the connection partners have with each other when they live and love as the Lord has asked. I will not go where he cannot follow... neither is the woman without the man. When we love and serve and sacrifice for our spouse, we will not want to be in heaven without them and they will not want to be there without us.
I knew I loved Joe, but I think our rank test showed me just how deep my love truly runs. Nevertheless neither is the [Joe] without the [Debbie], neither the [Debbie] without the [Joe], in the Lord.
Anyway, that night I experienced the pain of not being able to help your partner when they are seemingly beyond your reach. I felt, tangibly, my connection to him, my unwillingness to progress without him. And I had new light shed on the scripture "neither is the man without the woman or the woman without the man." I always thought the scripture was only a comment on needing to be married to get into heaven (which, I'll admit, has driven me crazy over the years). That evening, however, the scripture took on new meaning for me. Whether right or wrong, that scripture now speaks to me on the connection partners have with each other when they live and love as the Lord has asked. I will not go where he cannot follow... neither is the woman without the man. When we love and serve and sacrifice for our spouse, we will not want to be in heaven without them and they will not want to be there without us.
I knew I loved Joe, but I think our rank test showed me just how deep my love truly runs. Nevertheless neither is the [Joe] without the [Debbie], neither the [Debbie] without the [Joe], in the Lord.
Coming Out (of the Closet)
For quite some time Joe and I have been keeping a little secret. We've been participating in certain activities as a couple that I have wanted kept from our friends and family. I am not sure why. I think, mostly, I didn't want to worry about people judging me for my decision or telling me there is a better way. I was going to continue to keep it a secret but we are having so much fun that I just can't help but share with the rest of the world.
We are karate junkies! Yep, you read correctly, martial arts! We signed up for Shaolin Kempo right after New Year's. We have talked about doing this for years as a fun little hobby but our talks never went anywhere except to the back burner. It became a need after the two robberies at the credit union. I was so afraid all the time. Jumping out of my skin at any noise. I'm on my way to being a concealed firearms holder, but even that wasn't helping me. So we bit the bullet and signed me up at the United Studios of Self Defense. I just NEEDED some way to feel more confident. To feel safe. To feel like ME again. It only took attending my first private lesson and Joe immediately jumped on board too. And I am so glad he did. We now attend one private lesson (just the two of us and our sensei) as well as three group classes every week. And can I just tell you I am in LOVE with my sensei (not in the creepy, stalker way but in the heartfelt, grateful, you're the-best-sensei-in-the-world way). Sensei Jared is absolutely amazing. Not just referring to his knowledge and expertise (which is nothing less than incredible), but in how he handles his students. Everything is tailored to your needs. While with some of his students he works with physical fitness or stress management, for me he has focused on advanced defense techniques. And I love that I just don't learn the technique, but that he always has us practice based on several different situations so I know how to adapt based on where the attacker is, how fast he is approaching, or even if he has taken me by surprise.
Words cannot express how wonderful this has been for my self confidence and for our marriage! I remember, VERY clearly, the first day I was able to enter the workplace without feeling fear. It was crazy. I stepped to the back door and paused. Something was different. And then I realized that I wasn't in a panic to get the door unlocked, me inside, the door relocked and then closed behind me. Instead I was feeling safe that if someone did approach me in the hallway, I would be able to defend myself while screaming for help. I would be okay. I wish you could feel the difference between the sheer panic I have been feeling (all the time) and the calm certainty I feel now. I am no expert, but now I have some skill to defend. I feel so empowered!
And I have seen a difference in Joe. He is one person who I never thought would need a confidence boost. He is always so self assured. But since joining USSD, I can see a change in him. Like his excitement over increased flexibility and muscle definition. He demonstrates for me how much higher his kicks are getting. And I love that we can talk about what we are learning in class. We work on the different defense maneuvers and kempos together. It has been a great relationship builder as we help each other progress to the next level. (Not to mention the 4hrs a week we spend together participating in the same activity without any distractions)
So, there it is. I am "out" now. My name is Debbie and I practice Shaolin Kempo from USSD. lol
We are karate junkies! Yep, you read correctly, martial arts! We signed up for Shaolin Kempo right after New Year's. We have talked about doing this for years as a fun little hobby but our talks never went anywhere except to the back burner. It became a need after the two robberies at the credit union. I was so afraid all the time. Jumping out of my skin at any noise. I'm on my way to being a concealed firearms holder, but even that wasn't helping me. So we bit the bullet and signed me up at the United Studios of Self Defense. I just NEEDED some way to feel more confident. To feel safe. To feel like ME again. It only took attending my first private lesson and Joe immediately jumped on board too. And I am so glad he did. We now attend one private lesson (just the two of us and our sensei) as well as three group classes every week. And can I just tell you I am in LOVE with my sensei (not in the creepy, stalker way but in the heartfelt, grateful, you're the-best-sensei-in-the-world way). Sensei Jared is absolutely amazing. Not just referring to his knowledge and expertise (which is nothing less than incredible), but in how he handles his students. Everything is tailored to your needs. While with some of his students he works with physical fitness or stress management, for me he has focused on advanced defense techniques. And I love that I just don't learn the technique, but that he always has us practice based on several different situations so I know how to adapt based on where the attacker is, how fast he is approaching, or even if he has taken me by surprise.
Words cannot express how wonderful this has been for my self confidence and for our marriage! I remember, VERY clearly, the first day I was able to enter the workplace without feeling fear. It was crazy. I stepped to the back door and paused. Something was different. And then I realized that I wasn't in a panic to get the door unlocked, me inside, the door relocked and then closed behind me. Instead I was feeling safe that if someone did approach me in the hallway, I would be able to defend myself while screaming for help. I would be okay. I wish you could feel the difference between the sheer panic I have been feeling (all the time) and the calm certainty I feel now. I am no expert, but now I have some skill to defend. I feel so empowered!
And I have seen a difference in Joe. He is one person who I never thought would need a confidence boost. He is always so self assured. But since joining USSD, I can see a change in him. Like his excitement over increased flexibility and muscle definition. He demonstrates for me how much higher his kicks are getting. And I love that we can talk about what we are learning in class. We work on the different defense maneuvers and kempos together. It has been a great relationship builder as we help each other progress to the next level. (Not to mention the 4hrs a week we spend together participating in the same activity without any distractions)
So, there it is. I am "out" now. My name is Debbie and I practice Shaolin Kempo from USSD. lol
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